Tips for how to help someone who is struggling mentally: NAMI (2020)
-
Talk to them in a space that is comfortable, where you won’t likely be interrupted and where there are likely minimal distractions.
-
Ease into the conversation, gradually. It may be that the person is not in a place to talk, and that is OK. Greeting them and extending a gentle kindness can go a long way. Sometimes less is more.
-
Be sure to speak in a relaxed and calm manner.
-
Communicate in a straightforward manner and stick to one topic at a time.
-
Be respectful, compassionate and empathetic to their feelings by engaging in reflective listening, such as “I hear that you are having a bad day today. Yes, some days are certainly more challenging than others. I understand.”
-
Instead of directing the conversation at them with ‘you’ statements, use ‘I’ statements instead.
-
Be a good listener, be responsive and make eye contact with a caring approach.
-
Ask them appropriate questions and avoid prying.
-
Give them the opportunity to talk and open up but don’t press.
-
Share some easy insights as a way of encouraging easy conversation, such as comments about the weather, the community or other.
-
Reduce any defensiveness by sharing your feelings and looking for common ground.
-
Speak at a level appropriate to their age and development level. Keep in mind that mental illness has nothing to do with a person’s intelligence.
-
Be aware of a person becoming upset or confused by your conversation with them.
-
Show respect and understanding for how they describe and interpret their symptoms.
-
Genuinely express your concern.
-
Offer your support and connect them to help if you feel that they need it. Ask, “How can I help?” if appropriate, or even, “Can I pray with you now?” if appropriate.
-
Give the person hope for recovery, offer encouragement and prayers.





Things to avoid saying: NAMI (2020)
-
“Just pray about it.”
-
“You just need to change you’re attitude.”
-
“Stop harping on the negative, you should just start living.”
-
“Everyone feels that way sometimes.”
-
“You have the same illness as my (whoever).”
-
“Yes, we all feel a little crazy now and then.”
Things to avoid doing:
-
Criticizing blaming or raising your voice at them.
-
Talking too much, too rapidly, too loudly. Silence and pauses are ok.
-
Showing any form of hostility towards them.
-
Assuming things about them or their situation.
-
Being sarcastic or making jokes about their condition.
-
Patronizing them or saying anything condescending.




